Boil Water

I guess some people should to stick to the conventional method of doings. For example, if you are used to boil water using the kettle, then stick to it.... why am I saying this?
Well well well, 1 fine day, EK came over to my place. why? becoz i had installed a video camera with 20x zoom to my opposite block... and there is this couple who are exhibitionist... you know wat i mean...

anyway, to keep the long story short, he told me he need to boil hot water and proceed to do it...
the next day, i saw the flask.....

Don't use same password

Sigh.. I thought over for a few days.. Should I write this story or not... I kept debating with myself... Cos' I run the risk of losing my life if I write this....

I kept thinking and thinking.. That's why you don't see posting from me these few days... In the end, haizzzz... WRITE lah... WTF? Don't care liao lah.. Come kill me lah...

I'm sure everyone in GIT experienced the "I love you, kiss me." virus.. You'll get this virus if you've left your workstation unlocked. This virus went on for a while in Singapore GIT until everyone has the habit of locking their workstation when they leave it.

But, then, in KL, someone thought that there is no such virus there.. In fact, this person is right.. There is no "I love you, kiss me" virus there... It has evolved into another virus... "Edmund is Gay" virus...

The story goes.........

TBT, JFK and GN was working in KL on a very big project. The biggest in GIT history.. We're building a system of In-perfection.. What's that? I heard some voices.. Ok.. its a system that cannot be perfected. The reason is very simple... Think about it and you'll know. Sigh.. While I'm typing this story, Pinky is already snoring away beside me..

So, TBT, JFK and GN was working on a desk on customer site. They worked very very hard. JFK kept solving problems and monitor the system, TBT kept monitoring to make sure that no one configure any of the server's IP address and plug into the network to cause IP conflicts.. GN on the other hand, just kept playing Jay Chou's An Jing over and over again.. (Please lor, whenever he go KTV, he also sing this song over and over again. Wa lau!!!)

These activities went on for hours... Suddenly, TBT felt a tweak on his buddy... He could feel the warm rush of feeling to the tip of his buddy.. Need to go PJ. He stand up, walked towards the door and walked towards the toilet...

JFK stood up.. Walked towards TBT's laptop.. Its not locked..... He start another new mail.....

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Tay Boon Teck
Sent: Saturday, December 13, 2003 9:38 AM
To: Shawn Lee; Duncan Teh; Mazli; Srinivasa; Jeffrey Ng; Edmund Lau; Koh Boon Chin; James Chong; Andy Nursalim; Stephen Cheang; Lim Hze Kim; Yeo Hock EeCc: Sharon Law; Shenon Loh; Dorothy Lew; Serene Ong; Doreen Tan; Liz Yeo; Tay Siew Siew
Subject: Follow Up

Hi all,
remember that sometime back, Shawn & Edmund admitted that they are gay?
well, actually, I was their 1st boyfriend.... I feel guilty for splitting them up...

now i have to stand up to clear any misunderstanding...

sorry everyone....
==============================

JFK pressed the send button.. Walked back to his seat and continue monitoring... TBT came back.. Saw an unread mail in his Inbox...

-------------------------------------------
From: James Chong
Sent: Saturday, December 13, 2003 3:05 PM
To: Tay Boon Teck; Shawn Lee; Duncan Teh; Mazli; Srinivasa; Jeffrey Ng; Edmund Lau; Koh Boon Chin; Andy Nursalim; Stephen Cheang; Lim Hze Kim; Yeo Hock EeCc: Sharon Law; Shenon Loh; Dorothy Lew; Serene Ong; Doreen Tan; Liz Yeo; Tay Siew Siew
Subject: RE: Follow Up

Well done.....
-----Original Message-----
From: Tay Boon Teck
Sent: Sat 12/13/2003 9:38 AM To: Shawn Lee; Duncan Teh; Mazli; Srinivasa; Jeffrey Ng; Edmund Lau; Koh Boon Chin; James Chong; Andy Nursalim; Stephen Cheang; Lim Hze Kim; Yeo Hock Ee Cc: Sharon Law; Shenon Loh; Dorothy Lew; Serene Ong; Doreen Tan; Liz Yeo; Tay Siew Siew
Subject: Follow Up
Hi all,

remember that sometime back, Shawn & Edmund admitted that they are gay?

well,
actually, I was their 1st boyfriend.... I feel guilty for splitting them up...

now i have to stand up to clear any misunderstanding...

sorry everyone....
=========================

Shit!! Someone had sent an email using his account... He very anxious.. Quickly send out an email...

---------------------------------------------
From: Tay Boon Teck
Sent: Saturday, December 13, 2003 7:29 PM
To: James Chong; Shawn Lee; Duncan Teh; Mazli; Srinivasa; Jeffrey Ng; Edmund Lau; Koh Boon Chin; Andy Nursalim; Stephen Cheang; Lim Hze Kim; Yeo Hock EeCc: Sharon Law; Shenon Loh; Dorothy Lew; Serene Ong; Doreen Tan; Liz Yeo; Tay Siew Siew; Ang Liang; Vincent Toh Eng Hyen; Nicholas Seow; Chew Kok Seng; Tim Cai; Joseph Chia
Subject: RE: Follow Up
Importance: High

this incident has brought to my attention that, this person in GIT is not just childish nor I take this matter as funny, but is a breach of personal privacy!

And this also implies that, my passwords have been abused intentionally! And I can tell you honestly that, most of my banks account are using the same passwords.

Whoever you are, I'm giving you exactly 24 hours to clarify this mattter, otherwise I'll have no choice but to make a police report!

I'm taking this matter very seriously & I'm not joking.
============================

Noticed the increase number of people in the To list? Hahaha... Tell you all what.. Pinky just choked on her silva while snoring.... The best part is, when I turned over to look at her, she somemore show the very 痛苦 facial expression... Then rub nose and go back to sleep again.. Haha.. Damn funny men!! Okie.. Continue the email exchange...

----------------------------------------------
From: Jeffrey Ng
Sent: Saturday, December 13, 2003 8:50 PM
To: Tay Boon Teck; James Chong; Shawn Lee; Duncan Teh; Mazli; Srinivasa; Edmund Lau; Koh Boon Chin; Andy Nursalim; Stephen Cheang; Lim Hze Kim; Yeo Hock EeCc: Sharon Law; Shenon Loh; Dorothy Lew; Serene Ong; Doreen Tan; Liz Yeo; Tay Siew Siew; Ang Liang; Vincent Toh Eng Hyen; Nicholas Seow; Chew Kok Seng; Tim Cai; Joseph Chia
Subject: RE: Follow Up

uncle.... its me lah...

1stly, i dun have your bank accounts password.

2ndly, this is just a joke.... you are not the 1st person who kanna it lah...
maybe u were not in the loop previously, where Shawn admitted he is gay, after Edmund admits he is gay. And also Srini have a lot of personal problems. And Andy loves everyone and wants them to kiss him...

3rdly, pls remember to lock your PC when u go to SHK/PS/PJ/etc...

lastly, i will remember not to do this to u in future.....

p.s. you do not have to change your bank account password..

jfk.
====================================

Finally, we got the most political email from Mr Ang....

----------------------------------------------------
From: Ang Liang
Sent: Sunday, December 14, 2003 1:14 AM
To: Jeffrey Ng; Tay Boon Teck; James Chong; Shawn Lee; Duncan Teh; Mazli; Srinivasa; Edmund Lau; Koh Boon Chin; Andy Nursalim; Stephen Cheang; Lim Hze Kim; Yeo Hock EeCc: Sharon Law; Shenon Loh; Dorothy Lew; Serene Ong; Doreen Tan; Liz Yeo; Tay Siew Siew; Vincent Toh Eng Hyen; Nicholas Seow; Chew Kok Seng; Tim Cai; Joseph Chia
Subject: RE: Follow Up

Hi all,

This is a lesson to all... what is funny to some may not be so to others. Jokes can bring people together, add some laughters, remove some stress, etc... unfortunately, the converse is also true. IE, be sensitive to the feelings of others.

I do not wish to see this becoming the start of a counter-productive email chain. Let's end this saga here and contain it within the people copied on this email.

P.S. The next time some one decide to share his/her personal secrets, don't forget to copy me :)

Ang Liang
==========================

Why do I call this the political email?

1st ly.... It make a joke out of the whole thing to resolve the issue. A skill that is useful to learn.

2nd ly... It address the point that what is funny to many people, is not funny to TBT. It brings a very clear point across... TBT is adnormally not funny.

Lastly.. There are a lot of words that I don't understand in this email.. (KNN.. Mr Ang has to use big words leh... Dunno why) Words like "converse" and "IE"... WTF is that?

After this political email, JFK and TBT made up.. Then JFK prompt TBT on Yahoo to conference again....

TBT told JFK... "Ooi.. Wanna play this kind of joke, next time don't include girls mah...."

KLKKSSP

One day, when lgy and EK met up for dinner ...

As usual, dinner is followed by routine exercise, REM (see X-Colleague), a ritual has been in place since both were young studs studying in Temasek Ploy. Don't know why EK was pacing up and down in front of lgy, interrupting his data collection and achieving of GS and pretty faces as well as causing visual pollution.

"Wai! Eh-Kai, mai KLKKSSP ho-boh!" lgy snapped.

“Er, wat is KLKKSSP? EK asked innocently, almost wished that he had not, knowing that lgy will barrage him with his infinite wisdom and knowledge.

“Aiya! KLKKSSP you oso no noe!” retorted lgy, “KLKKSSP means khia lai khia ker …eh … khia lai khia ker … KLKK … er … SSP …”

“Shit, I cannot remember what is SSP” thinking to himself as lgy starts to panic! “If I cannot explain what is SSP, I will never be able to cho EK ever again …”

So he decided that there is only one thing left to do … to call the one person who taught him all the acronyms that he had ever known and used … the one person that can save him from the embarrassing predicament … s f x.

“Hello sfx, need to ask you something!” said lgy.

sfx was still in the office at 8pm working hard when he got the call from lgy … as always ...

“Wah, my x-colleague called at this time, must be jioing me for dinner … I always enjoyed having dinner with my x-colleague, especially free ones!” sfx thinking to himself before answering the call …

“Haro, when and where we meet?” sfx answered.

“No lah … I just want to know what is SSP?” lgy replied.

“SSP? Storage Service Providers?” asked sfx.

“No lah, KLKKSSP means khia lai khia ker but what does SSP means?” lgy explained.

“You called me just to ask that?!?!?" sfx starts fuming, "and interrupting my nap ... no ... I mean my work?"

Now you know why lgy is LPK.

Edmund

Funan Centre

the classic from Keepers of Email Junks (KoEJ)

Original Author: HK

LPK went to Funan happily to look for some stuffs.
HK "Good morning Sir, wake up call for u"
LPK "Oh u r late I woke up already"
HK "Makan?"
LPK "Ok ok I pick u up in Tai Seng"

LPK picked up his car from the basement carpark and drove his car to the exit point.
Happily he drove n c the barrier.

LPK "Errrrr y the cashcard station so far away from me?"
LPK "Errrrr y beside me the driver keep on looking at me?"
LPK "Errrrr y the driver pointing the sign broad to me?"
LPK "OPPPpsppss I'm on the opposite direction this barrier is for entrance"
LPK "Lucky nobody c me except the driver"
LPK rev his car slowly.
LPK proudly "Steady I did the S course using rev gear"

In the end,

LPK "I think the security camera captured everything"
LPK "NBZ I won't go Funan for a year"

The Day LGY took the MRT

Another masterpiece from .... Keeper of Total Useless Emails (KoTUE)

Original Author: EK

LPK met with a minor road accident the other day. His car has to be sent to the workshop for a few days.

So for the first time in months, he had to take the train to work. He thought to himself, "Siao liao, so long never take train, duno whether still know how to take or not...maybe can mit some chio bu on the train..".

With great anxiety, he approach the station gate. With his left hand holding on to the ezilink card, he gentle tap on the senor to his left. The indicator light came on. "Eh, how come the gate wont open har???". The gate to his right swing open. "Oops!".

So he slow retreat his steps and move on to the other gate. The people behind him started to roll on the ground laughing.....

That's not the end of the story.

In the evening, on his way back home, again "Oops!"........

BG & Jfk

4 years ... Since the day BG joined GIT until today... BG had known Jfk for 4 years ... It's not considered long and also not considered short ... But you would need to see the events that both of them have been thru ... in order to understand ...

[BG]: Eh Jfk, we know each other for quite some time liaoz hor??

[Jfk]: uh ... (oh no ... dont tell me he want to borrow money from me ah???)

[BG]: U know ah ... its about 4 years since we 1st met ... and we have been thru thick and thin hor...

[Jfk]: uh huh ... (oh ... jialat jialat ... its either he want me to give him a blowjob or help him achieve his event of the year)

[BG]: Look at the things that we been thru together... You were there when I gave you the 1st surprise ...

[Jfk]: Not my fault hor ... Who ask u so geh kiang ... (better try to push away everything ...)

[BG]: Aiyah, dun interrupt me lah ... U were with me when my car became a submarine ...

[Jfk]: Uh uh ... (not my problem hor... in fact i help u get the water out of your car leh ...)

[BG]: And hor ... remember that time we went to JB together?? After we came out of JB, my taiya pongchek ... and although u already reaching your home liaoz, u still U-turn come back to me to help me change tyre ... (alamak, forgot to upload this story)

[Jfk]: Uh uh ... (oorrrr ... feel that you owe me alot rite? aahh ... so that means dunwan to borrow $$$ from me liaoz is it ... heng ah ...)

[BG]: And you were also with me when I went to Changi Airport ... All becoz of your chao chui ...

[Jfk]: Eh ... I gave you the right directions leh ... just that you ownself haywire only ...

[BG]: And hor, remember the WPSP babysitting? We play the system failure SMS?? Ended up really System down ah ... muahaha ... (Next story coming up ...)

[Jfk]: KNN!!! Still dare to say hor ... boh tai boh ji play me ... hahaha ...

[BG]: And just yesterday hor, you were with me and my submarine just konked up again ... immediately right after we did our servicing ... haiz ...

[Jfk]: Yah ... Luckily I am with you all this while is it? If not you wouldn't know what to do hor??

[BG]: No. I think you bring me bad luck.