Borrow Or Lend?

I just learnt that there are a few other interpretation of what Borrow & Lend means...

On a sunny afternoon, LGY was telling someone else about this story...
[BG]: Blah blah blah..... So my fren borrow me his belair freshener when my submarine was engulfed underwater (Another story).
[Jfk]: Its lend. not borrow me... (Jfk is always correcting BG's england.. he can say things like 'In order to substain my erection...' or 'Don't worry, I will not abundant u wan...', anyway, we can come out with another LP story on his magnificent england vocab ah.... lets continue with the story).
[BG]: Oh yah. Lend me.... No no no. He borrow me, because I never return mah.....

[SS]: Wat? Wat do u mean? U mean lend will return and borrow will not?
[BG]: Yah lah. U dunno wat lend and borrow means meh? wah lau eh.... how come your england so da lousy wan... Let me teach u.... When I lend things from u, i will return. But if i borrow from you, I will not return wan...

[SS]: So what will happen if u borrow money from the bank? u no need to return is it??
[BG]: Eh? Good idea leh! how come no one tot of it before ah?
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There are lots of rubbish that continues before LGY finally understand the meaning of borrow and lend...

Anyway, that is part 1. The story continues...
The following nite, after LGY completely understand the meaning of Borrow & Lend, we were out having dinner with another X-colleague. I am witholding his name here in order not to embarass him...
[Jfk]: Eh. Loy, do u know what borrow and lend means? (The purpose of asking someone else this meaning is actually the prelude to the joke we are about to share with him, thinking that he will surely understand it... but shock awaits us as we found out that there is another meaning to it!)
[Loy]: Eh? Borrow is to take it with u... And lend is only for a short period of time.
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We wonder what the teachers in Singapore had been teaching our kids...